The Generation Gap…

Prologue

This article is not intended to hurt anybody’s feelings, but just to reveal some truths – which is faced by most of the young job seekers in current Indian situation.  As an IT Pro and a man from a middle class family, I have chosen the same plot to write this article, for the ease of explaining things. The intention is just to support the young job seekers- at least let’s stop accusing them.

The Youth

The young man, I have mentioned in one of my past blog post – “The Career Consultant”  is the representative of the current Indian youth-who come out from engineering colleges or other professional colleges as career seekers (not just job seekers).  Most of the Indian parents and teachers fail to identify the real talent in the kids and guide them. And the students often have no idea, how to identify the Good, Bad or the Ugly. Let’s analyze the problem.

In India, the current job market is closely associated with the growth of IT. Most of the engineering graduates (studying any trade of engineering) come to IT as they don’t have much opportunities in their respective trades or because of the attraction of better payment. Here remuneration plays the major role. Now days, most of the students pays their fees by taking loans from some financial institutions like Banks. The students and parents always dream for highly paid jobs. At college, most of the pupils enjoys the campus life and most of the times, forget the families, the loan taken … etc. But the celebrations end in the last semester. Some of the ‘So called Brilliant Students ‘ get placement through campus recruitment. Then only the remaining majority would think about the future seriously. By that time, some of them should have a love affair, with a promise of “we will never break up”. The youngsters desperately wanted a job as soon as possible the course completes, mostly because of four major reasons

1. Marry  the lover
2. Payback the loans
3. Want to avoid the cruel words from parents (Parents?  Yes of course…!!!), and other members in family and society.
4. To care the family.

The Parents

     Let’s consider the situation of parents. The average age difference between the youngsters and their parents are about 20 to 30. (The parents shall be around 50 years old). The new generation jobs are too strange to them. Because, the IT, ITES and such new generation jobs came in India from the mid of 1990′s, which is almost strange to elders. What the common people supposed is once a student completed his course, he/she should be entered immediately in a highly paid job. No delay expected.

If the youngster entered in a job, he is supposed to be well paid. If some body says, I am not getting as much as you think, then the common people says that is the mistake of the organization. The conclusion of the parents in first stage is – they make our kid work like a slave and not paying at all. If even the so called engineer says “Papa, it’s my training period…” etc, then they would ask. “Then why did you spend 4 long years in engineering college? And you passed out, so you should know how to work and they are not paying you well. See the uncle in our neighbor hood, he is also an engineer and he earn …”…blah… blah…

Here the old people should understand one thing. The engineer uncle in the neighbor hood is much experienced than your kid. So he shall be well paid. At the time of his beginning, he might also be like your son.

My request to the parents is “Please don’t compare your kids with somebody else. That shall give him/her immense mental pain and the result shall be negative. Such comparison will neither help them nor you. Please support them, encourage them. They will be very thankful to you, for the kindness you show at the time of their real ‘Crisis’…”

After some a few months, the scene would be changed, if some arguments happened at home, the parents say “Why do we bring up you? What is your earning? At your age, I was taking care of the whole family. Now see, you are still under my protection …” etc. (At first the parents were accusing the company, and later their kid… Both are worthless – it won’t make any change in situation).

Dear parents, please never ever make such mistake. It would be a big blow to your child’s mind and even if they never express, they won’t forget it or forgive you. 

The “Dear and Near”

I will explain another situation- a “well paid” software engineer met his older relative. The relative asked the work environment of the engineer. The answer was something like “Totally messed up my health and schedule almost 14 – 16 hours work everyday. No exercise, junk food – that too not on time…” etc.

The next question of the relative was the salary of the engineer. When he says that the relative says “Oh you get that much? Then what is the problem, you have to work that much or more, because I work 7 hours and earn the quarter of you earn. So you are over paid…” …???

But, my dear relative, please remember a quote from Bible (Mark 8:36) “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul?”

Understand Something… 

Before 2 decades, engineers, doctors and managers are considered as the top most jobs. Most of the peoples knew only civil, mechanical or electrical engineers and they are considered as high class. But now days, there is a plethora of engineering trades. Now, Engineer is not a top job at all. Apart from Peon or security, Software engineer is the lowest position in an IT company. Let’s compare him/her with a ‘Glorified’ lower division clerk in a normal Government system.

I remember one incident, as you people may know; I have started my career as a software engineer. Later, I got promotion as Sr. Software Engineer, Module leader … so and so. One day I met with one of my relative. He asked me

“Mahi, what is your designation now?”

“I am a Project Leader, big brother” I replied.

“What, just a leader? When we met last time you were some Software engineer and I was very proud of you. Why do you left that job? See our Hari, both of you started your career almost same time and he is a Sr. Software Engineer now… I thought you are the better performer but in career you are just a leader and he is an Engineer …” blah … blah…

I expect, this kind of viewpoints of the society shall be changed in another 15 – 20 years. The common people are not aware of the designation hierarchy in new generation job. If there is an “Engineer-tag” in the designation, they suppose he is in a good position. Our society is less aware of “new generation – target based” jobs and the nature of such works.

The Conclusion…

Dear parents,

Please try to understand, the situation is different. Your child need a bit more support from your side. They are just started their professional life. Be patient and give support, they will be fine soon. Remember, they are your children. If you don’t give support, then who else will take care of them?

Dear Peoples,

The new generation engineers are over pressured, he lose his health, life, have to bear high responsibility in young age and many more issues with him. So a humble request from my side is “Please don’t underestimate their works and don’t compare your work with their. Those are different. How logical if you compare a computer and an elephant? Both are different in all aspects. For the better salary drawn, they have to pay huge price with their life.  No problem if you are not able to help them or support them. But please don’t consider their efforts as simple one.

I Miss You Very Much, My Father…!!!

K. N. Rajappan Nair

“Father… I miss you every moment.

No words to express how badly the void of your absence affects me.

I miss you more and more, when days pass…

But still believe, You are with me invisibly…”

Came On: 22-Dec-1952

Went On: 31-May-2011

A Great Son of Mr. K. K. Narayanan Nair & Mrs. Bhavani Amma Narayanan Nair, Kottarathil

Sweet Husband of Mrs. Radhamani Amma Rajappan Nair

And

Beloved Father of Manju & Mahesh Kottarathil

My Father was …

A Gentle Man, A Good Friend, A Loving Uncle to His Nieces and Nephews, A Caring Brother, A Good Neighbor, A Good And Honest Police Officer (Kerala State Chief Minister’s Police Medal Of Honor Winner Of The Year 1992, For Exemplary Service), A Sharp Shooter, A Good Fighter, A Good Chess Player, An Activist, A Non-Political Social Worker, A Good Singer, An Artist, A Man With Courage And A Strong Backbone, A Man Never Bowed His Head Before Anybody But God…

And

A Great Son, A Wonderful Husband And A Beloved Father.

The Death, Fear and Philosophy…

As I have told in one of my older posts- “The Taste of Success and Failure…“, I have a good reading habit from my child hood. It turned to serious subjects like psychology and philosophy at the time of my under graduate studies in mathematics. Then, I really had a crush to ‘death’….!!!

Don’t worry my dear reader – it was not a tendency to suicide, but a tendency to know more about the final destination of everybody – “the death“. My doubts were-”What will happen after death?”, “What is the death – in fact?”, as the religions say “Is there a place like heaven or hell?”, “What are God and  Devil?”.  May be the philosophical books I had been reading those days might divert my thinking to that way. I read books by Socrates,  Plato, Aristotle, Osho, Nityachaithanya Yati, Swami Vivekananda, Adi Shankara, ’Thathwamasi’ by Sukumar Azhikode and Referred some books related to Taoism, Zen, Sufism, Atheism, Christianity, Upanishads, Vedas, Ramayana, Mahabharata and some other philosophical ideologies (I forget the names) … Thanks to the good collection of books in the college library and the public library in my beautiful village. While reading Adi Shankara- I strongly believed in the principles of Advaita. In the famous book “Thathwamasi”, Sukumar Azhikode also told almost the same. But, when started to read the books related to Atheism and the theory of randomness, I was totally confused…

I wrote a twenty-four line poem – imagining death as my sweetheart –  in the a second year of my graduation- first two lines of the poem is given below…

എന്റെ കാമുകി… (My Sweetheart…)

അവളെന്‍റെ കാമുകി, കാര്‍മുകില്‍ വര്‍ണയാമവളെത്ര ശാലീന സുന്ദരി… മോഹിനി…!!! (She’s my Sweetheart, the dark and seducing beauty…!!!)
അവളത്രേ സംസാര ദുഖാന്തക, പ്രിയരേ അറിയില്ലേ നിങ്ങളെന്‍ പ്രണയിനിയെ ??? (She could save from the worldly sorrows, dear friends- don’t you know my lovely darling ???)

*****

My thinking about death redirected me to a confused state of existence of God. At last, I concluded, “Every body is correct in some points, but nobody is telling about the whole truth”. It was like the blind men explaining the elephant – the first blind man who touched the tail of elephant said ‘Elephant is like a broom’,  second one who touched the legs and told ‘Elephant is like a pillar’… and so on.

I felt the real relief when started to read Swami Vivekananda – a philosopher who had a practical approach to anything. He never asked people to avoid food and pray to God for better results. He have real hope on young people. He told “A football player will understand the meaning of Bhagavad Gita, better than a starving devotee”. His visions made me capable to think freely…

And I found, it is inane to follow some others’s principles blindly – whether it is philosophy, religious worship or political beliefs. We should listen everything and should make a conclusion as our own. It may be right or wrong in some other’s view – but of course it is my brand. (My kid may fair or dark, but of course it’s “MY KID”. For me, he/she is the most beautiful baby in the universe). Just like that, my principles are my passion, which defines my life. I have to stand for that- but, I should be ready to correct, if found a mistake from my side… The skill of thinking is differentiating between the human being and animals. But seems most of the peoples are not using that special skill of brain and walk one among all.

And at last I found my philosophy: “No Gods will come to earth to help you directly  in your issues. There are human beings – like you and me – who help us in our problems. The God is not a so called person who sit at some place too far (called Heaven) and make and solve our issues using a remote control…!!!

When you help somebody, the empathy in your mind is the blessing and you are the God of that person at that time-nobody else it is YOU. Just like that, when you do some cruel or evil thing to somebody, remember- the cruelty and negative attitude in your mind is the curse. Then you are the Devil to the victim.

The biggest fear is the fear to death. If you don’t afraid of it, nobody/nothing can defeat you. Because, as Shakespeare said- “Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once (Julius Caesar, Act – I, Scene 2)”. 

Be a well behaving person with pleasant face and be confident on your deeds. Fear nobody to do a good deed… Ultimately there is nobody to question you, but your conscience.“

I don’t know how acceptable my philosophies to others. But, I stick on this. Of course I respect other’s beliefs also as I am not a rebel. And since I reached this philosophy, the queries related to death were not some thing so serious to me. Because, I’ve identified – death is not a big thing- it can happen anybody at anytime and it is the only sure thing in life. So let it happen. I have no time to bother about that. The matter is not how will you die, but how are you living… So live as a good person- with principles and dignity.

Let me conclude this post with a quote from the most practical and dynamic Guru from India- Great Sri Sri Swami Vivekananda:

“Fear is death, fear is sin, fear is hell, fear is unrighteousness, fear is wrong life. All negative thoughts and ideas that are in the world have proceeded from the evil spirit of fear:

Birthday, Food and Survival of the Fittest…

My friend’s Birthday…

Tom Thomas

April 7, 2011 was a day of celebration for me. It was the birthday of one of my best friends and roommate Mr. Tom – whohas been my friend by the last thirteen years. We were class mates in graduation. After B.Sc. Maths, he took two post graduate degrees – one in English Literature and the other in Library Science- plus a post graduate diploma in journalism. He had been working in Thiruvananthapuram (the capital city of Kerala) as an e-journalist by the last 5 years. Few months before, he joined in a French MNC and got his appointment to Kochi – the city I have been working by years. So, then onwards he became my room mate too.

At the beginning of April 7th (Midnight) I surprised him with a Small Gift and as the reply he surprised me in the evening by inviting me for dinner at a multi cuisine Chinese restaurant -the same place, I had welcomed him to Kochi on his first day in the City.  The specialties of that restaurant are the salient atmosphere, tasty food in a reasonable rate. Another noticeable thing is the large quantity of food they supply.

We ordered 2 soups, fried rice and curry. Half quantity of the fried rice was more than enough for an average man. After a soup it was too much. Tom was not able to finish the half portion of the rice. So he took 2/5th of the whole and asked me to finish it up. I was also in the same condition. But, I had no option but took the remaining 3/5th portion. Seeing my half-hearted and unwanted eating, he asked me to stop, if I really don’t wanted that much. But I finished the whole, since I had decided much before to never ever waste food.

In my child hood, when ever I wasted my food, my parents advised me not to waste the food. They often told me “You don’t know the value of the food. Because, you are the well kept kid in a middle class family and you never felt the real hunger. There are a lot of kids who don’t get even a single meal a day… ”

While riding back to our residence in the Kochi city, I remembered the day; I have taken my decision to waste no food.

*****

The Hotel in the Salem Bus Station …

It was the summer time- mid of of April, 2005. I was coming to my home from Bangalore for celebrating the Vishu with my family. Since it was the festival time in Kerala, no train tickets were available. Luxury bus tickets were also sold out. I just had 3 days leave, so I hurried to interstate bus station of Bangalore central and get a Tamilnadu Road Transport Corporation’s bus to Salem. I hoped to get a connection bus from Salem to my native place in Kerala. I reached Salem by 9 pm. From the office of the bus station, I came to know the connection bus would come at 9:30 pm only. So I went for the supper to a hotel near the bus station. After having my food, I went to washroom to clean up. When I looked through the window of the wash room – which is opening to the back yard of the hotel – I saw some street dogs fighting for the waste food from the hotel. At first glance, I found nothing special in it, as it is a normal view from the  waste dumping area of any hotel.

Suddenly I shocked by seeing a dark-skeleton-like kid of 3 or 4 years old, crawling to the food wastes and pushing away the faces of the dogs and trying to get some food. I have never before seen or imagined such a thing. I was traumatized for a moment. I wanted to do something for that kid. At least I wanted to took him out from the messy business and give enough food. But, at that moment I did not know what to do – I could not miss the bus. If so, I would miss the Vishu with my family. Same time, I heard the announcement of the arrival of my bus. After paying the hotel bill, I ran to the bus to get a seat-with a heavy heart.

I could not sleep that night. Sitting in the bus, whole night I was thinking about the dark – lean boy at the SalemBus Station. He was fighting to the street dogs for a little bit of food, at the age of three or four. It was a thing, I had imagined never before .

I looked around; all the passengers in the bus were sleeping. I felt some difficulty to breath as a heavy stone had placed over my chest. I could not control my eyes filling with tears, thinking of the unknown dark and lean kid. For all the starving people on the earth – and decided I won’t waste food ever again. Still I can’t define my feeling at that time and why did I weep like a kid? I understood the meaning of the words of my father. After that, I never wasted my food.

*****

I remember my mother often say “You can’t satisfy people by giving money, but food”. Recently my relative brother works in USA also told me the same thing. Yes, It is correct – The value of food is something special. As Herbert Spenser said in his famous theory known as “Survival of the Fittest“, this world is for the survivors. To survive, everybody have to fight to their situations. This is world for winners not for losers. In the Salem Bus Station also I found the same…

” The fight for surviving… The fight for the life… The Struggling for the existence… and of course, the value of food…!!!“

*****

Dear dark-lean kid at Salem Bus Station… I don’t know where you are now. But you changed my attitude towards life… Thank you very much. Now I feel ashamed for not helped you anyway. I know, it’s worthless to confessing now… But, I want to.

The Tastes of Success and Failure…

Just like you, I also don’t like failure. But – honestly speaking – for me, it’s not a big deal… I believe, ‘if you have an attitude to strive for the success, no target is too far’. I will explain with an example.

As I have mentioned in my blog post ‘Blood is thicker than Water’, my schooling was in a Christian church managed Malayalam medium school in our village. Unlike the lower primary classes, I was not a high performing student in high school. Even my total mark percentages are much lesser than the school toppers, I also considered as one of the brilliant students in that batch. Because I was the school topper of Mathematics (only). I had a reasonably good reading habit on various topics, but never been a good textbook reader. I hated mugging of definitions and long – long essays on worthless topics. So, I scored below average marks for History, Hindi and Biology and just average marks for Geography, Malayalam and English. But, I scored above average marks for my favorite subjects like Physics and Chemistry. And of course, I really dominated the Maths. So, my total marks percentage was just above average, between seventy and eighty percentages…

In Kerala, till late 1990’s,  the higher study after 10^th standard was the universities conducted pre-degree courses (PDC). Since I had scored some ‘not-bad’ marks for the Maths group subjects (Mathematics, Physics and Chemistry), I got an easy admission in First Group (Also known as Maths Group). The atmosphere in college was totally different from that of the school in my village. No uniforms, no restrictions, no painful punishments… but, no caring teachers too. Unlike the school teachers, Professors’ attitude was something like “If you want, you should study. If you have doubt, you ask me. If I have time, I shall answer- otherwise go to library and learn your self”.

The unexpected change of teaching medium was a big challenge for me. The person sat next to me was Mr. Kitt (I have mentioned about him in my past blog “Three Good Friends in Chennai”) He had no problem with the teaching medium, as he was from an English medium school. (Also he was a much better student than I was.)

I attended the classes mechanically, without understanding anything the professors taught. And since I was a boy who keep text book anew (never opened), I have failed two out of five subjects for the first term examination.That was my first academic failure (Not a big thing- later, failure of exams became a usual thing… ). During my school days, I had never been failed even for a single subject. So it became a big shame. I did not know what to do and decided to consult my English professor who liked me very much.

He told me “Mahesh, your problem is common challenge for most of the came-from-Malayalam-medium students. If you put some sincere efforts, you can improve your linguistic skills as good as an English medium student. And remember, Reading – Reading – Reading… It’s the only way to improve.” He paused and added with a smile ”Normally nobody put a sincere effort in it… They just study their subjects and earn marks. But, they understand the limitations when they enter in to the profession.”

I decided to learn English language. The collage library usually open at 8:30 am. If I wanted to reach library by that time, I had to start from house at 7:30 am. Only if I reached there by that time, I could spend an hour to read two – three English News Papers. At my home, we used to read Malayalam Daily. When I told the things to my mother-the-best, she was very happy to make Tiffin and breakfast for me before 7 am. (This is one of the many reasons, I consider my mother as the lady behind my all successes –as mentioned in The M-Factor)

From the very next day onwards, I started my “Operation English learning”. The first book I took from the library was “Great Expectations” by Charles Dickens. But, when I tried to read the book, I lost all Expectations about learning English. When ever I tried to read a single page, I needed to refer the English-Malayalam dictionary at least ten times. My vocabulary was too pathetic even to understand what the book is telling about. I often felt, better trying to swim across The English Channel than learning English. But, like King Robert Bruce, I was also not ready to give up. I returned Dickens‘ ‘Great Expectations’ to the library, but I had some the ‘real great expectations’ about my English learning. I took three kids books- one nursery rhymes, Cinderella stories and ‘The Adventures of Tom Swayer’. Seeing these books, other students laughed at me. But, I was shameless, and nothing could stop my enthusiasm to learn. My target was much more important to me than the silly ego of ‘What the others shall think me’. Because, I knew, first of all I need to build up the basics. ‘Strong foundation is the necessary thing for a big Building.’

The fifteen years old boy was not ready to give up… And now, my English is reasonably good. At least, I can communicate well to others.

*****

Even I have a lot of limitations in life, I am happy now – in terms of my achievements in my less than thirty years living on this planet. When look back to my past life, I can find a lot of reasons to be depressed. But, I don’t want that. I count ‘what I have’- not ‘what I lose’. I don’t think I have reached my ultimate destination. I believe, there is no such final destination for anything. Life is going-on in a flow, as mentioned in the concept of randomness – it’s just happening. The events come to our life according to the chaos theory. We can’t say something happening in our life is final. Everything happen is a continuation of another one and the reason of some others. So I’m still trying for continuous improvement, which will help me not to be a big loser in future. If I sit idle, gradually I will lose the feeling of comfort.

If you are cheerful, the peoples will like you. But, when you start to complain about your environments, they will move away and you will be isolated. This attitude makes me a cheerful person. That’s why I told you, failure is not a big deal for me. I am positive and believe- behind every big success there should be a story of die hard striving. In fact, the ‘Go-getter‘ attitude and the ‘self driven striving‘ are the parameters to differentiate a successful man and a loser. The life is too short and we have no time for sitting idle and cursing the fate. If we really want some thing, the only option is just ‘Go for that‘. Let the others decide how successful our efforts were…

So my dear reader, you decide – how successful I am, in the effort to learn good English…

*****

P.S: Now I have a copy of “The Great Expectations” by Charles Dickens in my personal library- in the group of very special & memorable books.

Blood is thicker than water…

The day of my first term examination of my first standard was not only my first school examination but the day of some big learning also.

Kids’ fighting is a usual thing in every house if the elder is a girl and the younger is a boy. The reason is the girl will think, “I am the older, the younger one should obey me”. But usually, no boys tolerate a girl’s domination (Sorry, I can’t give a proper reason for this phenomenon- may be ‘the boys are made like that’). As the younger boy with an elder sister, my childhood was also not an exception.

The school was about a kilometer away from my home. It was a local village school managed by the Christian church of our area. Since it is a village, every body knew us (That’s big virtue in the villages. In the big cities, we may not know the person staying in the next villa). My sister was senior to me for a year. So when I joined in the first standard, my parents send me to school with my sister. I really did not want to go with her. Because…

1. She was a good student, so when ever I quarreled or did some mischievous things at school, the teacher would compare me with her. I hated (then and now) comparing me with somebody else.
2. She had a bunch of friends of her age or one or two years older. School going with a set of girls is not a small punishment for a proud boy. When ever I tried to skip from the gang of girls, my parent warned me and I was forced to go with those talkative girls.
3. Since I was the youngest and the only boy in the team, the girls always teased me and they enjoyed my anger. When ever I lost my temper, I threw stones to them. They complained to my Mom, and I got enough every day.

(The girls are always like that. When ever they get a chance, they play with the brains of boys. But when the boys react, they will complaint to higher authority and the guys get the punishment.

Moral: The Girls have no sportsman spirit…! Please don’t expect fair play from them.)

My biggest challenge was my sister’s good image as a calm and quite, well behaving to other, very studious girl… I was just opposite to that. But, no body made any bad comment on my behaviors as they may consider my deeds as some simple kid’s play. Going to school is just a running to reach the class on time. But, the return from school was not as mechanical as going. I often skip from the girls group and we boys climb on the ‘nut-meg tree’ in the plantation of the church, for the ‘nut-meg fruit’.Expecting us, the Assistant Vicar of the Church should be there to catch us red-handed. Still, I don’t know the real reason of why he never caught us- may be because of our fast running or wearing the long white priest’s clock, he might not be able to follow us as fast as we were. Another activities were throwing stones to mango tree for mangoes and getting some flower plants for home garden from the houses on the way. Since the peoples in my village were so good, no body had any big complaint on any of these activities of naughty boys. I still remember, one lady whose house is near the road, gave us water and asked our school news regularly.

*****

The first term examination came. Before exam, I had studied all my topics. But the real threat was, last year my roll-model-to-all sister scored 96 percentage marks with a second place in the class. (The first place winner of her batch was Mr. Kishan – now he works as a software engineer in Bangalore). If my mark is less than 96 percent, I could tell no excuses to my parents for my ‘extra-curricular activities’.

The examiner was my class teacher Sister Dais Maria –a Christian nun with a marvelous heart. Still I remember some of the questions – “Spell the summation table of seven”, “Sing the poem started with ‘Ambalamuttathana Nirannu…’ (The decorated elephants came to the temple courtyard…)”, “Write the National Anthem ‘Janaganamana’ without spelling mistake”, “Name of the Indian President…” etc.

At last, the eighth wonder of the world happened, I got full marks…!

My joy was bound less. I wanted to show my marks to my dearest mother- who always supported me, and say “My boy is good, he will prove himself one day”. Yes, her son made his first proof. I wanted to show her that – the first achievement in my life, at the age of five. I hold tightly my new black slate with a white chalk mark of ‘50/50’ in my right hand and ran to home. “Faster, again faster”…  the spirit asked to my flesh. I ran like hell. After a while, I was not able even to breathe, but did not stop running. Tumbling a stone, I fall down to the dusty red soil road. From my knee, a small stream of blood started to flow. I wanted to stand up, but could not.

Some body took me up. “Oh, he is bleeding”. They took me to the nearest house. Somebody washed my wound. “Is he the son of Rajan Sir?” Some body asked. I really wanted to cry aloud, but did not. Because once I had fall down while playing and cried aloud, my neighbor Mercy Chechi took me from ground, patted on my shoulder and told “Hey dear, don’t cry like girls… You are a boy and the boys don’t cry.”

I wanted to ask her, “Why don’t the boys cry? Don’t they have pain, like girls?” But not yet asked. Still I am thankful to her for the care she given to me and consider me too as her kid, even I often made quarrel with her daughters.

But this time, it was not just pain; my new black slate with my 50/50 mark was broken. But, the slate had just a single break, still visible to see the mark. So I somehow controlled myself and kept the slate pressing my chest, not showing my mark to anybody. One man asked, “Are you OK, Kunjikutta?” That was my neighbor Reji Chettan.

“Don’t call me that, I am Mahesh” I shouted, while weeping. Pain and anger was in that tone. “Kunjikuttan” was my pet name of my childhood. I did not like that name. Because, in Malayalam, the meaning of “Kunjikuttan” is “dear ‘little’ boy”. At the age of five, I felt that ‘I am not that much little‘ and so I did not like that name.

Everybody laughed hearing my reply. I got confused, ‘I just told my name, is it?’. I really wanted to run from there. Reji Chettan took me to his shoulder and said, “You sit here comfortably, and I’ll leave you at house”.

While walking to my house, he asked me “Went for exam? How much you got?”

“I won’t tell; first, I have to show this to my mother.” I replied.

He laughed again; I did not understand why people laugh, when I had said something seriously. Is there any mistake to show my marks first to mother?

When we reached my house, I jumped from his shoulder and ran to house calling “Mom… Mom”

My mother was combing the hair of my sister and makes her ready for the examination after noon. Mother shocked seeing my posture- body and cloths full of soil and dust, with an injured knee and a broken slate in hand, I was running to her, calling her with a crying voice.

“Oh my God, what happened to my baby?” she kissed my forehead.

My grand parents also came. Grand father checked my wound and said “Not a too serious one, but some scratches on the knee, it’s painful”

“Nothing to worry uncle, he fall down tumbling a stone…” That was Reji Chettan

“Oh thank you son, for the care on him… You are so kind hearted…” My grand father thanked him.

“That’s OK, he is a lovely kid, we all like him… He was in a hurry to show his marks to his mother. I have asked but did not tell me. Now, tell me your mark Kunji… Sorry Mahesh?”

I felt a bit embarrassment, with a shy smile in tears; I showed my broken slate to my mother. I saw a proud smile on my mother’s face “He got full mark…”

I could see her eyes also filled with tears of pleasure. Such small-small pleasures make our life worth live.

“Oh… like his sister… That’s why he wanted to show his marks to his mother first. Very good my dear, keep it up in all exams…” Reji Chettan smiled and went to his house waving a hand to me.

I thought my sister would be jealous to me, as I broke her record. I looked at her with pride. But she was looking at my wound, she came to me and kissed my dirty cheeks and said “I am really proud of you, and I will tell all my friends that my kid brother got full mark. Is it too painful, my dear?”

It was quite unexpected. I was competing to my sister and she feels proud on my better mark? I had a totally wrong image about her in my mind. My sister was the reason of my bad boy image, she always tried to dominate me, and she never paid attention to my words. When ever I did something naughty –she complained to mother and I got enough. And sometime to my worst fear, she complained to father also – when he came home in  weekends.

But when I came with a good mark, she was really happy and really sad seeing my injury. I realized her true love to me. She was not jealous to me but very proud of my good marks. I was competing to the wrong person and doing a worthless fight to my own shadow.

My eyes filled with tears. Not because of pain, but for the first time in my life – I have learned “Blood is thicker than water”.

I think that was the first incident I really started to learn the value of relations …

*****

P.S: I feel very sorry to say, two of the characters in this incident are now not with us. My beloved grand father –Mr. K. K. Narayanan Nair- passed away about twenty years before and my dearest neighbor Reji Chettan–who liked me very much- left our world about fifteen years before on a bike accident.

Three Good Friends in Chennai…

I often think, what are the parameters of relationships with a person? He/she belongs to our family? Being together a long period? Physical attraction? Habits which suite with ours? Or well behaving? Difficult to say… Some relations are much too wonderful for words… I can explain them with three different types of relations as example.

I have three friends at Chennai – the capital city of the State Tamil Nadu, in India. My relation with each of them is very different.

First guy was my class mate in college days, Mr. Kitt Naveen Tom Jose – A knowledgeable and down to earth young man with a very positive attitude and respectable personality. He is a chartered accountant by profession and works in Cognizant Technologies, as a finance analyst. He loved and married my another friend – Mrs. Shinta Kitt – and they living happily at Chennai with their new born baby boy. His sister was a friend of my sister and his mother was my Physics professor and Vice Principal of the college at the time of my graduation in Mathematics. A very deep relation evolved naturally by years, and no room for surprise for class mates become very good friends.

When ever personal problems came, I just phone him and talk ten to fifteen minutes. After the conversation, I feel – even the problem exists there just as before – my mind is calm and ready to face the challenge. Often I don’t share my real issue with him, but just talk various things. But, a casual talking with him makes me much comfortable.

You are lucky, if you have a friend-who can make you feel good when you are in real trouble.

*****

The second one is a young lady - Ms. Meera Lakshminarayanan – a Brahmin girl from Guruvayur. I met her first in a train journey to Bangalore, in October 2005.  I have been travelling with my family (my father, mom and sister) on Island Express from Kanyakumari to Bangalore. In a six berth coupe, my family and I got four berths. Two young women from Ernakulam South Station occupied the remaining two berths – one was a tall, slim, long haired woman with a spectacle and other was short and fair complexioned and a bit more fatty than her friend. During the whole night travelling we did not talked any thing. They were talking something and we were in our world. From Trissur station two girl students get in to the compartment. They had booked the seat but, the tickets were not confirmed. But, the students had no option but go by the train as their class would start the next day. Because of the rush and insecurity feeling in general compartment they get in to our coupe and asked permission to travel in that coupe that night. None of us had any problem in it. Around 10 O’clock in the night we climbed up to our berths. Then, the two young ladies offered one of their berths to the two girls and they shared the other. ‘So compassionate and supportive young women’ I thought. Next morning, we got down at the White Field Station, Bangalore. While waiting for the car of my friend, my mother said “Very well behaving young women with compassion to others”. We all agreed to her.

After two days, I was travelling from ‘Madiwala’ to ‘Domlur’ by a city transport bus. From ‘Koramangala’, the two young ladies got in to the bus, and sat on a seats near to mine. I recognized them immediately –the compassionate young women travelled with us two days before. The tall girl (Meera) identified me too; she asked pointing her right hand index finger to me “You… train… ”

I smiled and replied “Yea, we were in the same coupe…” I paused and continued “I’m Mahesh…”

“Well, I am Meera, and this is my friend Praseetha”, She replied…

After some chit chat, they get down at air port road junction. They were working in a famous airline company. We had exchanged our e-mail Id’s and later communicated. The meeting had grown up to friendship through mails and phone calls.

Years passed… I moved to Kochi, Praseetha got married (now living happily in Dubai with husband and a cute baby boy) and Meera shifted to Chennai. I address her “Meerajee” and she calls me “Mahesh Bhai”. Last night- just before writing this post- I asked her permission to use her real name and identity in my blog. She replied “No problem, I know you are a real gentle man, and will not misuse my name.” – The greatest appreciation ever, a friend shall get… I thanked her for the confidence on me.

In fact, these kinds of trusts of our dear people make our life worth to live.

*****

My third friend at Chennai – Mrs. Valsala Menon – is a Senior Journalist. Work with the “Ability” – the official magazine of Ability Foundation as the associate editor. The Ability Foundation is a charitable trust and social working organization founded for the development of physically or mentally challenged people. Film Actress-Director Revathi is one of the trustees of the ‘Ability’.

Valsala Aunty is a writer, social worker, dancer, activist, special correspondent for Small Enterprise India and more over a lady with a positive attitude to life. She has a family of family journalists- her husband Mr. Hari Haranandanan is a very senior journalist (Sports editor) in “The Times of India”, Chennai. Their only daughter, Niranjana (Ninjoo) -a girl with creative mind- is studying for graduation in journalism.

Every morning, I wake up seeing a motivating SMS with a Good morning from Valsala Aunty. What ever be the issues, I can talk to her, she is a very matured lady and one of my very good supporters.

The relation between Aunty and me is something eternal… No blood relation, not in the same age group, not from the same industry, not meeting often… no reasons to say… But, she is a wonderful friend of mine.

See, my three friends in the same city, from different cultural background, different way of being friends, different age groups, different area of expertise and job… Still I have a warm relation with them all…

I believe, the relationship with a person is beyond definitions. Our heart decides who is good for us…

Why do you want to skip the job? – A partially fictitious blah… blah…

As I have mentioned in my last post “The Career Consultant”, the most comfortable place for me in the Kochi city is “The Marine Drive”. On a sunny week day evening an year before, one of my very good lady friends (let me call her “Endearing Engineer”, and she call herself “Fatty Girl”- even she was not that much fatty), – who accompanied me in some of my evenings in marine drive – asked me “Mahi, your previous company was a very good one and you were in a good position too. Then why do you hop the job?”

“Oh… that’s not a much interesting story…” I started with a not-interested-to-tell tone.

“Don’t tell me some diplomatic answers like ‘Career Growth’ – as there you had a much better chance of growth than here, ‘Learn better technology’ – you were worked in latest .Net technology, or ‘it’s a big luck working with such a professional organization …’ etc. You can tell all such craps in the HR round of an interview, not to me…” She had no intention to leave me alone. You know guys, the gals are too nosy. If they are up to something about somebody so close, no diplomatic answers will make them satisfied. The dig up will continue until they get what really wanted. (Sorry gals, no bad intentions behind this line, in fact we guys enjoy such CARE from you “up to certain limits”…)

“OK, I don’t want to say some diplomatic answers – at least to you, as you are my very good friend…”

“Just very good friend? … not the best?” She asked (another common-silly demand from any Girl – they always want to be placed as the best, better ignore such things to avoid a quarrel).

I had tried to summarize what happened, but she really wanted to hear in details. So, I told the story…

*****

“The Team- Never Failed”

For the ease of explanation, I’d prefer to call my previous company as ‘G’ – a very good and professionally managed organization with an ISO 9001:2008 certification. As the Sr. System Analyst there, I liked the work environment very much. My favorite person there was my immediate boss- the Vice President (software) of the Company. Which ever be the projects executed in ‘G’ at that time, he put me as the part of them all – not to crucify me, but he really wanted me to be with him for all works. Even it was highly pressurizing, I did not complained as I personally liked him very much and I was too eager to widen my knowledge base. Late night works were a usual thing for us those days. At the time of some highly confidential, urgent and immediate project delivery (like airline projects), we five top warriors of ‘G’(The VP, a Team Leader, a Module Leader, a Sr. Software Engineer and me) worked shoulder to shoulder from 9 am to next day 4 am with just taking any long break (just taking two 15 minutes breaks for lunch and supper). But, none of us had any complaint, as we enjoyed the delight of successful project delivery. My cubicle was the nearest of VP’s cabin. When ever we got a challenge we all gathered at VP’s cabin for discussion. If the issue was really tough, the VP called us all…

“C’mon guys, let’s go to conference hall and break the issue”.

We five men had spent hours arguing one another for the solutions. We had drawn different plans on the white board. Most of the time, nobody sat on the chairs, but standing near the white board, drawn and explained their ideas. Some time the pitch of the argument rose abnormally (fortunately the conference hall was sound proof). Seeing our muted actions through the semi-transparent door glass, our lady HR Manager some times asked us were we going to kill one another. The VP was the moderator, but he allowed us to go to any extend for the right solution. It was like a logic making and breaking exercise. We teased each other, shouted, and criticized other idea. But at the end of the meeting, we always had a perfect solution for our problems, which would be feasible and agreed by all. The hours we spend was not an issue to any of us as it was nothing personal, but for our projects. It was not his solution or my solution, but our solution – the remedy for our blocker issues. So we called our team “the team- never failed”.

*****

“Then why did you come out from ‘G’?” She asked while eating the popcorn.

I replied playfully, “Uff, no use to say you are a so called celebrated engineer… you need some observation power… Hey no wonder, usually gals don’t have that quality- you people see only surface level stuffs… no keen observation, no in depth searching, no analysis and …”

“Oh… then let me know your analysis, Mr. Einstein…” She interrupted me. I ignored the playful sarcasm in her tone. I was sure she could give a hundred examples of my recent blunders.

“Okay… here’s the theory from your Mr. Einstein – See, only four types of peoples stay for a long time in a single company. First – those who are very loyal to the company and happy to be there for ever – may be some relative of management people, or some body who are not too ambitious -just being happy with current conditions, and believe they get paid enough for the work they do.

Next – those who are comfortable with current company, no matter whether they perform well or not. They are afraid of how to survive or how to manage the same level in another company. They know, since they are senior in current company, they can survive in current position. They may be less confident, less skilled or less qualified peoples – the in security complex attach them with the company.

The third group is those who had enough jumping and want to settle somewhere and live peacefully- mostly family men, with wife and kids.” I paused. She was looking at me with an open mouth and an expression of ‘man, it’s too much for my little brain‘… I suppressed a laugh and continued in an easy tone…

“The fourth and last group is the rare species, some very brilliant guys, who the company does not want to let them go. So the company offers them immense career growth, salary and whatever they want to… So they should also be happy to being with the company. I belongs to none of the above four classes my dear. I am very confident, able prove my skills where ever I go, qualified and obviously very young too and most importantly no plan to marry now and get settled somewhere… ha… ha…”

She did not laugh with me and gave a sharp look. My laugh vanished but pretended I had not seen her bitter expression and continued with a softer and stylish tone “So, you must expect me jumping from company to company, at least till I get married and settle somewhere, Okay?” She kept silence, but now closed her mouth and continued chewing the popcorn. I paused and continued “Don’t you know the new trend? nobody stay in a single company… even the companies are not expecting it. It’s not my observation dear, the famous management guru Tom Peters call this syndrome as ‘end of corporate responsibility’…” I tried to skip from the subject.

“Hello, Mister, come back to the point, why do you skip the job?” – she caught me in the right position.

Some girls (some times every girl) are too sharp ; they will catch us at right time… Oh, Man… no escape… Huh…!

“There were five reasons behind my skipping…” I continued. “In ‘G’, we did not have any extra benefits other than the salary- No insurance, No PF, or any complementary allowances…  Just the salary and the mechanical work every day… We expect some kind of security in life in work place also, right? Or a bit care from our employer? Another very important reason for jumping from one company to another company –for any person- is the ‘Money’ my dear- we are working for that, right?”

“Oho, so money is so important to you than the relations?” She interrupted me… This is what I hate in girls… They always put silly sentimental stuff while men were trying to say something seriously. I stopped and turned my face away. She put some popcorn in my hand and made a gesture saying “Continue… continue…” With a warning expression of ‘don’t repeat it again‘ , I continued…

“Another reason, I was fed up with multiple projects and mixed up schedules. The fourth one was a big story, that I will tell you later, and the last one was the influence of Resmi Chechi – I have already told about her right? ” I paused. She shook her head, putting a handful of pop corn in her mouth.

*****

Mrs. Resmi is my much respected and very good friend (I call her Resmi Chechi – “Chechi” is the word used in Malayalam, denotes “elder sister”). At that time of my joining in my current company she was a staff there. Years before, we worked together in another company as the Project Leaders of an ERP. In personal life, she is the sister in law of my ex-class mate and the aunt of another friend. So we always had a strong personal relationship.

One evening she phoned me and told “Here we have some vacancies. If you are looking for a change, I can give your resume to our HR Manager. He is looking for somebody who has a very responsible character… I guess the recruitment is to a good position…”

“Then why do you tell me this?” I interrupted her.

“What?”

“I mean… you said they are looking for a person who has a responsible character, means this job is not for me… ha… ha…” I just made a loose talk as usual…

“Hey, I am serious… You know, it’s a good company. Here we have insurance, PF, some other allowances, Party… and many more. Above all the peoples in the management are very good. A very good place to settle, you know?” She paused. I kept silent on a confusion and she continued. “Man, you stop the flirting and roaming around. Try to get settle some where…” Chechi said in a serious tone.

“Huh… Okay… let me think.” I told in a playful tone.

“What? I told this much and you are not serious … ‘let me think’” She mocked me “Do whatever you want to. I told you what I have to tell, rest is up to you.” She got a bit angry.

“Uff… I … eh… I will send my resume now.” I told her with a bit embarrassment.

Some ladies are just wonderful. We feel the care in there tone even if they shout to us. The best examples are mother, elder sisters … I bet you can find more…

*****

“So, thus you reached in this company… But, it’s just the application sending… what happened later?” the Endearing Engineer had no intention to left me.

“Hah… The interview was the most interesting part…”Suddenly, interrupting our conversation my mobile started to cry… It was the usual evening call from my mother – the lady I adore. I put my right hand’s index finger on my lips and made an “Sshhhh…” sound asking her to keep silent.

“Hi mom… what’s up?” I picked the call.

“Oh nothing dear, usually you call before 6:30 and it’s a bit late, that’s why I called…” That’s mother’s love… I delayed just 15-20 minutes. “Son, Are you still in the office? Having a tough time?”

“No… Nothing like that Mom, I am at Marine drive, with a friend… I will call back you later…” I replied.

“Why later? Hey… any girl friend with you?” Oh my mom… hats off… How could you guess this?

“Hey… err… nothing like that Mom, I will call you later… Bye.”

The Endearing Engineer was listening me… She laughed aloud and said. “Oh man, what a prediction? So the mother knows her son very well…”

I smiled “Yeah, she knows me very well… perhaps more than I know myself…”

She also smiled, but this time not playfully… She looked at my eyes; I felt a sense of deep affection.

“Hello Madam, the time is 6:45 now- it’s getting late, I have no problem; but you have to reach at hostel before 7:30 pm, right? Through the hectic evening traffic, at least half an hour will take to reach there…” I stood up from the bench at the shore of the Marine Drive.

“Oh … I did not recognize… the time passes too fast…” she jumped from the bench in a hurry.

We started to walk to High-court Junction.

“Ha… it’s always like that, once you started to talk; no stop at all…” I teased her.

“Not always…” her eyes were gleaming… “Only when I am talking to somebody very … very… eh?… dependable…”

‘Dependable’- a very powerful word…

Seeing my silence, she asked me “Hey my dear mother’s baby, what are you thinking about?”

“I was just thinking about the word ‘Dependable’- You know? Before my selection to this position, my MD asked to Resmi Chechi only one question about me. That is about my dependability.” I replied.

“Hey … hey… tell me that too…” She playfully hitted on my shoulder …

“It’s too late to reach the hostel, may be some other time… Oh yeah… here comes your bus, and call me when you reach hostel safely… OK? Or shall I accompany you till the hostel gate?” I asked her, while reaching the High-Court junction.

She laughed at me “Hello Boss, this is Kochi- the fastest growing city in India, and now its just 6:55 pm- the city is very much alive and I’m not a kid. Don’t worry my sweet young man; I will be fine and safe. But, I love your care on me…” she told while walking to the bus. While getting in to the bus she showed a gesture of “I’ll call you”.

I waved my hand to her with a soft smile. While the bus left the High-court junction, I started to walk to my residence at Kochi, sending an SMS to her-

“ Come a bit earlier tomorrow evening – Yours M”.

The Career Consultant

Few days before, on a weekend day, one of my colleagues phoned me to ask a career advice for her brother’s friend. The query was something like “… he has completed his Bachelor’s Degree in Electronics Engineering and now looking for a job. Can you please advice which career shall be best suit for him… and which course or certification is required for that?”

I got confused because no body can say which job is apt for a stranger. But, she really wanted my opinion as the young man is her family friend and she consider me as the right person to guide a beginner. I have no option to reject her request as she trusted me very much. With a little bit hesitation, I replied her- better I would meet him in person and tell an opinion later.

I met him at Marine Drive – the place I love to spend my evenings at Kochi. I always get an eternal feelings from inner soul while seeing the sunset from there. It relieves me from all the irritations of an exhausted, hectic working day.

We talked almost an hour and I shared my experiences and understandings about the careers in IT -by explaining the nature of some IT Jobs, like Systems Engineering, System Administration, Software development, Quality Control etc.

At the end of our meeting, I told him “Dear young man, the things I told you are my understandings about these careers. But, if I advice you to choose a particular job, that may not be perfect. So, based on the informations I have shared, decide yourself which one is suitable to you. Remember, you have two advantages- first one is you are very young and the second, you have a very good engineering degree. All others things related to the career can be building up by smart working and positive attitude. Be positive and you will have a very good future…”

He was very happy when we said good night to each other- with a warm hand shake. He asked me, “Sir, shall I call you, if any doubts or clarifications…?”

I smiled and replied “You must…”

*****

Prof. Dr. Mahajan P. Mani

On the way back to my residence at Kochi, I remembered an almost similar event happened in my life also. Years before, at the time of the completion of my MCA, my father was the Officer in charge of District Passport Cell of Kottayam. He personally knew Dr. Mahajan P. Mani(Professor, Department of Gandhian Studies, Mahatma Gandhi University). Father asked me to meet him for career guidance. First I refused, because I hated “the Celebrated Professors”, as most of them are just bothered about grades and percentages. Based on marks they analyze people. I hate such contempt from anybody. But, afraid of my father, I agreed to meet the Professor.

I fixed an appointment through phone and met him at his office in the M. G. University campus at Priyadarshini Hills. Unlike my expectation, the Professor was a pleasant faced man. He welcomed me with a broad smile. We stated with some chit-chats. He asked about my father and some casual talking etc. I could identify, it was a very busy day for him. A lot of phones, some students and lecturers made some quick visit in his cabin. I was watching all his activities, with adoration.

Just like any other academicians, he also asked about my percentages. Seeing my lower marks in theory papers and better marks in practicals, he smiled and asked, “Your father told me you are a boy with good reading habits, but it seems you got some ‘interesting‘ marks for the theory papers, Eh?”

With a bit embarrassment, I replied “Sir, my father was correct; I read books regarding everything under the sun, but text books…”

He laughed. That was a warm meeting. After half an hour, I went back home. I was very happy to get an opportunity to meet such a great person. That was my only meeting with Mahajan Sir. But, still I remember his words at the end of our meeting.

“Dear young man, I am not going to advice you to choose any job. But I wish to say just one thing – You are very young, and have a post graduate degree in Computer Applications. So believe me, you can make a good career. But don’t be too hurry, first you give more importance to learning, than earning. Now-at the beginning of the career, just don’t bother about the remuneration you get. Be patient and learn how to work professionally. Other things will come automatically.”

I followed his words; I had a tough time at the beginning of my career. But now, when I look back, I understand his words better. I really wanted to meet him again at least once more. I am not sure, whether he remember me or not. But, I just want to say him, “Sir your half an hour disciple is now in a reasonably good position. Thanks a lot for the Great advices.”

The Internet Protocol (IP) Address

Every body say about IP address …  But what really the IP address is? Most of the time the question remains unanswered or the answer may not complete. So let me try for a simple and clearer answer.

What is an IP Address?
An IP address is a numerical representation of logical address that assigned to devices participating in a computer network utilizing the TCP/IP for communication between its nodes. IP addresses are usually displayed in human-readable notations, such as 192.168.18.166 (for IPv4) and 2001:db8:0:1234:0:567:1:1 (for IPv6).

There are two versions of IP address IPv4 and IPv6. IPv4 is the older version-which is still in use- which is a 32 bit number (4 Bytes address), with a limited address space of 4,294,967,296 possible unique addresses. Which is represented using 4 parts of decimal numbers (xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx) each part can hold values from 0 to 255 (total 256 numbers in each part – 8 bits). It’s IP number can be calculated using the following method.

Let’s say the IP Address is A.B.C.D

Then IP Number value =  A x (256)³ + B x (256)² + C x (256)¹ + D x (256)⁰

                                                = A x (256)³ + B x  (256)² + C x 256 + D

IPv4 also reserves some addresses for special purposes such as private networks or multicast addresses.

Using the IP number, you can find out the place using the Repository DB of all IP addresses.

The latest version is IPv6, which uses 128 bits (16 bytes) and provides the potential for a maximum of 2128 new addresses space, or about 3.403 × 1038 unique addresses.
Types of IP Configurations in Networks

Static IP addresses
When a computer configure to use the same IP address each time it powers up, this is known as a Static IP address. Uses of static addressing: Some infrastructure situations have to use static addressing, when finding the Domain Name System host that will translate domain names to IP addresses.

Dynamic IP addresses
Dynamic IP address refers to the computer’s IP address which assigns automatically. Uses of dynamic addressing: Dynamic IP addresses are most often assigned on LAN and broadband networks by Dynamic Host Configuration Protocol (DHCP) servers. It avoids the administrative burden of assigning specific static addresses to each device on a network and allows many devices to share limited address space on a network.