Months and years passed after my last blog… My emotions were being stabilized – even in the last few years a lot of good, bad and ugly things happened in my life.
I have been thinking by months, about my blog is remaining inactive by years… I stopped blogging, exactly after my father’s demise… I was too busy those days – the daily travel to the office and return (about 5-6 hours journey), new responsibilities etc. My family’s emotional stabilization after the unexpected sudden demise of our beloved family backbone, my grand mom’s all-time-bed-condition, my sister’s health problems, grand mother’s demise, my marriage, and 6 months before- I had a very unexpected nerve system failure, months in hospitals, emotional/ relation breakdowns and a lot of memorable – but not-to-be-mentioned-in-blog events– like my promotion, my office change, new software developments in better technologies etc… also there. (Since in this blog I never wanted to share my official information and events, I am avoiding such details.) Anyway, in short – the last few years were very much eventful.
Just like any other couples’, we (my wife and me) are also conducting a life with love, fights, compromises, understanding and comforting each other. I have nothing new or special to tell any other couples as we are just another pair…
A few weeks before, as the conclusion of a big fight she told me “I will go to my parent’s house, and then let’s see how your things would be going on. In my absence, you would know how valuable I have been… and you will learn a lesson.”
Just like any other male-chauvinist (especially from the Pala area), I always kept my ego high. I replied “Go ahead, without the help of a wife, I have lived about 3 decade. And still it is possible… Go with your parents and whenever you become ready to live according to my wishes, then only need to come back.”
After a few days, we realized that we are going to be parents. In that ecstasy, we both came down a little bit from the clouds of our ego… First time in my life, I felt the fullness in my mind… I tried to forget all my personal issues. I never knew, being a father is such a beautiful feeling. And I missed my father very much. I understood how much my father loved me. Even I am a family man and good son to my parents (they have no complaint on anything and so proud of me) I realize that, we have to be a father/mother to fully understand the depth of our parents’ love to us…
Knowing this news, my parents-in-law came to our home and asked me whether they can bring her to their home for a few weeks. As they always complain we never stay with them like their other daughter and son-in-law. Even my wife visited her house rarely after the marriage. We always said the excuse of the distance and my busy life. So when they asked about taking her to home, in the ecstasy of being grandparents for the first time, I could not refuse. But, I really did not want my wife leave at that time. So I told them the travelling at this time would be harmful and we need to consult the doctor.
Hearing my answer, my wife asked with a witty smile – “Is that the only thing bothering you? And don’t you have any issue to being separate from me, personally?”
“No, I don’t have any issue…” I replied indifferently…
Her face dimmed… “OK, if so let me ask the doctor, and confirm whether I can travel… ”
“No problem, let’s consult her tomorrow only” I had no other options but admit the suggestion.
We both don’t like to being separated, but were not ready to admit that and compromise a little bit. The funny part is that – we both know that very well too. The ironical opinion of the doctor was – “You can travel, but be very careful. Travel only by car or train. So better go to railway station by car and from the destination station also use car to reach home. And after reaching home take complete bed rest.”
I told my mother and mother-in-law about what doctor said and added “… So, do we need to take this risk?”
“Why do you bother much? You said you are self sufficient and not bothered much…” she teased me.
I got angry and my ego had no option but let her go, even my mind was not agreeing. The parents-in-law were so happy.
While driving to Kottayam Railway Station, I was silent… my wife asked me “Why are you so silent?”
I was off-mood and irritated easily. “It’s a State highway. While driving at 80 km an hour, if I talk too much, make jokes as in home, and drive the vehicle looking at your face – to please you, the car would go to the Meenachil River” I replied.
She went silent for a while, and said “If you have any problem, I won’t go to my parents’ home.”
“No, what’s the problem? You are going with your parents and you will be safe there- I know… no problem. If you don’t want to go, let’s go back” I replied.
“Hmm… If so, okay…” After a short pause, she asked “When shall I return?”
“Whenever you want to … The doors are open” I replied with a sad smile…
“Chakkikkotha Chankaran (Suitable husband for the wife)” my mom made a comment.
An uncomfortable silence filled in the car. Nobody was talking. “Drive Slowly” – mom asked me when the needle of the speedometer touched 100 Km per hour at the highway through Kidangoor–Ettumanoor area. That was the only talk after the short conversation.
When reached the Station, I told them “The parking area is full and the road side also filled with cars and bikes… So, I am not coming to the platform…”
“That’s Okay Son…” Mother in law replied.
“Call me after reaching home and take good care.” I told my wife.
“You too – and drive carefully” She said.
“I will…” I smiled to her and drove away. While driving back to home I thought – now it’s not just my wife – a part of me also in her…
“Are you having medicine, food and water, on time – as doctor instructed?” I asked her another day, through phone.
“Why ask? You don’t love me and don’t care me…” She hissed.
“Yes, it’s my mistake to ask you so. Do whatever you want to…” I yelled back.
Days passed, I was busy with a lot of things at home/hospital checkups etc. Even every day we were communicating, there were some kind of heaviness remained in my mind… I understood – I can live without her – just as the life before the marriage. But it won’t be the same again…
“Dee, Where is my Shirt?”
“Where are the socks?”
“I need a tea…”
“See, there is a flower budding in the plant we planted last month…”
“Mom need to go to temple tomorrow morning, will you go with her?”
“Is there anything to purchase from the shop, when I go to town?”
“How’s my baby doing?”
And many more…
All those questions were in the atmosphere without being asked… and the growing curiosity about my baby too…
After the 10th day, in a conversation I asked “Babe, how’s my kid doing?”
“Don’t you bother about me, always ask about the kid only” She spited the words furiously…
“Hey, don’t be jealous at least to our kid, my dear. It’s your kid too-not just mine… I was not asking you about your beautiful friends” I replied.
She shouted back “Don’t you miss me? You cruel man…”
“Not much, my things are going on fine… no issues” I cunningly answered…
“You are such a heart-less brat… How can you be away from me this much days?” She wept.
“Oh babe… Don’t say that. You are with your parents and don’t they take care of you very well? I am sure they do…” I laughed.
“Parents… hmmm… I’m not telling anything… You…” She shouted… “I am coming next Sunday…”
“Welcome home my dear… But, you told, I would learn something in your absence and I will beg you to return etc… Any comment on that?” I teased her…
“Hmm… I thought you are a human being – my mistake… anyway I learned a lesson.” She said furiously…
I thought“You are not mistaken, under the egoist skin of ‘the man from Pala’ – I am the man you really know – the really loving and caring husband”
I laughed aloud – just like any ‘Pala Achayans’ – who loves their family and live honestly to them but never bow the head to anybody.